Situational
by AkaneSukishima
Summary: What happens when you open the window? Get in your car? Leave your house? Turn in your essay? Find out with each chapter that's posted with the lists of situations that might occur while simply doing your everyday thing. Purely crack.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I saw a through the backdoor fic, so I'm gonna write a through the window fic! This is just a bunch of things that might happen if you opened the window.

I do not own death note. All rights are reserved for Abada and Oba and not copyright infringements are intended here. However, I do own this fic.

Situation 1:

You open the window and...

Mikami falls in, screaming something about "Paperclips" and "God's nose".

Situation 2:

You open the window and...

Someone throws an apple in, it hits you in the head, you get knocked out. Later, you wake up and find you're in the shinigami world with Ryuk hovering over you, asking for some more apples in the most annoying voice he can muster.

Situation 3:

You open the window and...

Mello jumps through, grabs you, insists that you are Takada and he's go nna get revenge. He reaches down his pants, pulls out a handgun, not what you think he would have pulled out, shoots you, and leaves laughing like a shinigami.

Situation 4:

You open the window and...

Near walks in, and tries to sell a dungeons and dragons book to you. You refuse, and he dropkicks you, cries and leaves, yelling "RIP OFF ARTIST!" after himself.

Situation 5:

You open the window and...

Soichiro Yagami comes through and kisses you... this is scarier if you're a guy! or a little girl.

Situation 6:

You open the window and...

You get beat over the head with Rem's notebook.

Situation 7:

You open the window and...

Aizawa comes in, chains you to the wall, and turns your hair into an afro! Ew, scary!

Situation 8:

You open the window and...

Higuchi comes in, steals you, and marries you. Later, you get pregnant with a seahorse.

Situation 9:

You open the window and...

Kakashi Hatake and Mogi come running in, kidnap you, and hold you for a one cent ransom from Beyond. Beyond never comes to get you.

Situation 10:

You open the window and...

The epocolips comes! L stops liking sweets, Mello hates chocolate, Ryuk is allergic to apples, Near throws away his toys, Misa dropkicks light and says she hates him, Watari begs for money on the street, Beyond is a police chief, and Soichiro Yagami is a mass murderer.

A/N: More chapters of situations with different beginnings will come soon! Just you wait! You might get a "You get in the car and..." one! Or a "You walk out of your house at midnight and..." one! Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I just got an amazing idea from TTP-chan! (Tentenperson). So, I decided to take her up on it. And, if I forgot to mention beforehand, I do not own Death Note, or else all of these would have happened, and there would be an Akane Sukishima in Death Note.

Situation 1:

You ate the last doughnut and...

Matt jumps through your window, grenade in hand, ready to explode you! You run, hide, and Matt is later tackled by all of his fangirls, and if you are one of them, then he grabs you, runs off and marries you. If you are not a Matt fangirl, then you remain hidden until the fangirls (faggirls lol) take him away.

Situation 2:

You ate the last doughnut and...

Aizawa comes in, afro and all with Mogi running after him. Alot of baloons and party decorations are floating around as Aizawa and Mogi exclaim in unison, "You're the lucky winner!"

Situation 3:

You ate the last doughnut and...

Beyond comes running into the room, knife in hand, demanding the last doughnut, which apparently had strawberry jam in the centre.

Situation 4:

You ate the last doughnut and...

Ide and Chief Yagami come in, shooting at you for the hell of it. As soon as they're done shooting at you, which is when they run out of bullets, they start to reach for your stomach as if to take the doughnut away! You run, they run into a wall, fall unconcious and are taken away by L and Mogi.

Situation 5:

You ate the last doughnut and...

Matt falls into the room, playing a D.S, seemingly not noticing that Mello just totally shoved him through some random person's window. Not to mention the person is finishing a doughnut rather ravenously.

Situation 6:

You ate the last doughnut and...

Your back door bursts open, and in comes Mello, reaching down his pants for his gun. Instead, he pulls out something else. Matt jumps through the window, kicks him out, runs after him screaming about "simpleton" and "retard".

Situation 7:

You ate the last doughnut and...

Near calmly walks up to you, and informs you that the last doughnut is currently being digested inside of you.

Situation 8:

You ate the last doughnut and...

Matsuda comes in, dancing to some random polka tune, and makes you dance with him. After a while, you notice he's singing the words which are, "Someone ate my doughnut, someone ate my doughnut, I don't know who did it, but someone ate my doughnut, my doughnut."

Situation 9:

You ate the last doughnut and...

L comes running in, waving a sign that says "MY DAMN DOUGHNUT!"

Situation 10:

You ate the last doughnut and...

An overly happy Light comes bouncing in on his toes, literally, and then hits the ceiling with his head. Then, he falls over, and Misa comes running in after him, then hits the ceiling too, falls on Light. She asks what's wrong and goes all worried and stuff, then Light says quietly ... "My doughnut... he/she ate it!"

A/N: Oh, by the way, feel free to use any of the situations in this fic for ideas in your own fanfic. That's what I originally intended it for. So if you've read this far... feel free to use this in any fanfic you write. If you want, you can P.M me with the title of your fic. I want to see people's different perceptions of these situations and what other people put into them. Feel free to do anything with these at all, at your own will. Just let me know through review or P.M. Otherwise, please review!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm back to being a good little author on this site. Hehe... sorry 'bout that.

Situation 1:

You turn in your essay...

Your teacher, BB in disguise, reads off your duedate (of sorts), and gives you a friendly visit to provide you with an alternate... you know what? Screw the dodging around it. He sees you're gonna die, and kills you instead. Cuz he can.

Situation 2:

You turn in your essay...

Only to recieve your paper back with a zero, Misa having framed you by copying your paper and handing hers in first.

Situation 3:

You turn in your essay...

To have Light mark you fairly in a class marking session, but feel really guilty about screwing with his mark badly on his essay.

Situation 4:

You turn in your essay...

L takes issue with your reasoning and provides you with a novel-sized response essay on why you are wrong, and why he suspects you of being Kira.

Situation 5:

You turn in your essay...

Ryuk decides things are getting boring, and he edits your paper just befor eyou print it off so all of the words "the", "and" and "or" are replaced by "fuck", "shit" and "bitch" respectively.

Situation 6:

You turn in your essay...

Mello trips you down the stairs later because you got .5 of a mark higher than he did.

Situation 7:

You turn in your essay...

Mikami stands gaping at your divine reasoning abilities, and soon claims on bent knees in front of you that he will be your loving scribe to share your terrifyingly powerful judgement; you suddenly feel deja vu. Light sneezes two streets away.

Situation 8:

You turn in your essay...

Life just doesn't seem fair as a long beard grows out from your chin, like a rope. It self-braids, and then you find mini versions of Near climbing up it. You then decide to get of the LSD, and attend a few NA meetings.

Situation 9:

You turn in your essay...

Rem kills you in defense of Misa's stupidity, which you mildly hinted at in the fourth body paragraph.

Situation 10:

You turn inyour essay...

It is returned to you in a court of law, rolled up and sealed inside an evidence bag. You are then sentenced to a lifetime of writing and rewriting the exact same essay by Mikami in a cat suit.

A/N: You turn in your essay, and throw away the acid. Seriously. Review!


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